But, I’m not one, so what do I know, LOL. It made me happy and sad because the lyrics are so bizarre and over the top, but the exact type of internal monologue conservative or “traditional” white women have. Tracy scurries away after her song, and Velma takes center stage to sing the white woman villain song heard round the world, “(The Legend of) Miss Baltimore Crabs.” Kristin can obviously sing her face and behind off, but until last night, I had never really listened to this song. Watching Ariana perform is like seeing the face of your personal savior for the first time. One of the greatest blessings in this lifetime is when actor/singers who’ve been doing one of their two crafts for a while finally get to do the neglected one again on a national stage. I like Tracy even more when she finds Ariana Grande, who plays Penny Pingleton. Mic issues aside, Baillio has a great voice and killed this song. Unless Tracy woke up at 5 a.m., there should be some break of sun. The musical starts with a clear shot of the Hollywood Hills while Maddie Baillio as Tracy Turnblad sings “Good Morning Baltimore." (Note: The first person of color is a homeless woman dancing in the streets.) I’m very, very confused about the lighting in this scene. The following is my recap of our nation’s new normal: live musical-theater performances. I didn’t study the soundtrack like I had with other shows, but I could bop to “You Can’t Stop the Beat” with the best of them and I’ve nearly squinted my eyes into non-existence every time I've heard a chorus sing “NEGRO DAY!” This, mixed with my history of crying over cast lists in high school means that I was front and center for Hairspray Live starring Jennifer Hudson. This is for you.) Then, it meant everything. (John is now a close, personal friend - I'm not kidding. I didn’t understand why anyone cared, until I fell deeply in love with a member of the Broadway cast, John Hill, via Myspace. For years as a child, Hairspray meant nothing to me.
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